we found love in a hopeless place <3

Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip you're hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful!
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperatley
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful!

ok note that this is a full of angst post!!!

finished most of my papers already but i feel like super depressed! exams this sem sucks max. is it i too stupid or what??

204a was like quite ok but confirm everyone know how to do sia! then the little parts that i dunno will make up a lot of crucial marking points for grading. later everyone know then only i dunno i will be like siannnn

201 the next day but it was only like manageable? a bit hard though some parts. like a sian only also. plus consecutive 2 days of paper. was super drained already!

astro was like WTSSSSS! i think i really stupid coz everyone finished in like 1hr? and i was still doing the mcq repeatedly. so insecure with my answers. shld have done more times of the qns bank!

209 was the WORST. like my total nightmare. i stared at one 30mark qns and i was like WTS CAN I MC THE PAPER NOW! seriously??? come out this kind of qns still dare to tell us only need to practise review qns. SERIOUSLY ERNIE U JUST WANNA SCREW US UP RIGHT. i think what my friend said was quite funny. he said i almost wanted to just faint in the middle of exam so i can take mc and escape. i look at the qns i was like OK SKIP. no way of doing it. left 30 marks qns BLANK just like that. :( :( :( like super depressing ok. not like the rest of the other qns were really great. spent like 10000 hrs doing the last qns and i dont think i really got the answer correct. I HAVE NV FELT SO STUPID IN MY WHOLE LIFE WHEN I'M DOING 209. stupid module! everyone was like super screwed? wtsssss.

and this person actually said that it was quite ok and the bell curve will help her a lot. screw her mannnnn. just because she's this selfish bitch who studies and makes use of ppl that means she can do well. EH THERE'S SUCH A THING AS KARMA OK. the 29 percent u got for project is we do and get for u one ok! u got do any calculations for proj? NO LEH. u got contribute any shit for report? NO LEH. so why shld we give u the 29percent for free sia? then still give u so much time to study so u can pawn us in 209 and let us be ur bottom of the bell curve. seriously bitch? TOO MUCH ANGST ALREADY! shall blog abt this in a separate post. cant stand it aft i read her blog. MUST BLOG ABT HER. even though i pretty much told most of my friends abt her. oh well. hopefully no more same mods next sem man. if not quite awkward? HAHA. dont know. when i face her i feel like a 2 faced slut BUT OH WELL. i'm just like that? actually is i too nice lah. cannot bear to be mean to other ppl even though they deserve it! HAHA

so to summarise exams didnt go so well? oh mannn hopefully genes goes well! i hope my H2 bio knowledge can help me like x1000000. hahahhaa. nv mug so hard for bio a levels for nothing ok! i got B lor dont play play. ok actually B is like retarded. HAHA. but still! better than nothing ok. improved from like a permanent U in bio? NOT BAD OK. self assuranceeee. hahahhaha.

ok bye time to study for genessss. cant wait for next wed though! getting so hyped up talking abt my plans!! so going to party like there's no tomorrow! going to be 2012 soon anyway mah! can party like it's 2012!

I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We'll still love each other, forever and always

this song is :'(

after consulting joseph on my numerous doubts on 204 and 201 i can perfectly understand why his gpa is so freaking high!! i shld learn from him. he can totally be my lecturer. taking into account that he goes for every single lecture and i dont, he shld be my lecturer! hahaha.

ok i feel like i'm really super last minute but i hope i can do at least ok. just o.5 less than joseph in gpa i will be ecstatic.

but anyways i'm glad that i can turn to all these friends in times of need! everytime i will be super confused and ask them qns and they nv fail to teach me well! also give me tutorial answers when i skip tutorials and explain lecture stuff to me and inform me abt tips that the lecturer gave! love them so much!

like how i always ask swee kee wanqing jieying for all the answers to tutorial qns and how to do the qns! :) :) :) glad to have such friends!

but of coz there will be some disappointments in life when some ppl dont really help u but choose to make use of u. only call u when they need something. it's really selfish. shall blog more abt this aft exams! haha.

somehow i hope that i can always give something in return for my friends helping me! but so far i have not been a great help academically. ok maybe just some rare times? i dunno. but i will always try to source resources! hahaha. okkk quite stupid. hopefully next sem i will be more disciplined and be more of a help than liability to my friends!

hopefully 204 goes well!

cried like crazy watching something borrowed! the storyline is like so awesome. u have to go after the things that u want now before it's too late. makes a lot of sense to me.

helps me destress during this hectic exam period! 204a is just tmr!!! oh mannnn. havent even finish studying. suffering from the wrath of 204 because i skipped too many 204 lectures and tutorials! and i nv ever did 204 tutorial. haiiiiiz :( why like that! stress max because of stupid 204 :( :( :( oh wells.

I didn't want him to pick me by default, I want to be someone's first choice.

You say good morning when it's midnight
Going out of my head alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset, it's drivin' me mad
I miss you so bad and my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged

feeling so jet lagged now! screwed up body clock already.

cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love, spotlight shining it's all about us

Oh these times are hard, yeah, they're making us crazy, don't give up on me baby

quite an unproductive mugging session today. only managed to finish 3chapters of 201. havent even do the tutorial yet! :( siannnnzz. felt quite restless today! oh well shall work hard thru the night to make up for it! NO SLACKING OK! only random breaks to energize myself!

on a side note A levels started already! saw jc kids leaving sch aft their paper. makes me think of my own jc days. and time flies ok. IT'S 2 FREAKING YEARS AGO. ok maybe 10years later i will think that i'm so retarded to actually think that 2years is long but still! getting older already :( very sad!! cannot go back to sec/jc days even if i want to.

i still rmb how i really struggled for a levels coz it's so freaking hard and competitive. a lot of ppl say that uni is much easier than a levels but i think it depends on which point of view u r looking from??

a levels is like cramping 2years worth of info within 1 or 2 months. and a lot of concepts r quite tough and a lot of things to study! but the good thing is u get a lot a lot of help from ur teachers and past year papers and practises. can do until u go crazy. it's really mugging spree.

for uni it's more of what u learn within this one sem. they chiong finish what normally takes a year or two in jc within less than 6months and u have to rmb every shit.

but i feel that some qns that they ask r not as complex or deep as a level qns. it's more of answering generally using the same methods and application. and a lot more real life application and calculation thing (at least for econs) it is kind of easier to score or at least pass in exams as compared to the numerous U's that i received in jc.

BUT the mugging and cramping all the knowledge within 1 sem is really quite taxing. and the accumulative gpa thing is like killer. at least for jc u either score damn well or screw up for JUST THAT ONE TIME. this is continuous. u must do well everytime ok. u screw up once u have to make sure u do damn well the next time (which is quite impossible) so for 8sems in ur uni life u cant screw up any exams at all! which is so much more stressful than the 2yrs once a level. and another thing is that u dont really receive a lot of help from ur profs.

and there are not a lot of past sem practises or any kind of practise for u to do except for tutorials. even if u manage to find practises u have to search for ur own answers because it's not provided at all. which kinda sucks. no practise means u dont know what type of qns can come out and it's harder to do well for the paper. unlike in jc u can do these super thick amount of practises and feel safe that exams will have similar qns! it's so much better and secure. plus the 100000 consultations u can have with ur teachers.

that's why i think poly kids can adapt to uni much better than jc kids. i really feel that we have been spoon fed for too long. since pri sch. ok maybe not spoon fed but we received a lot of help resulting in us not being independent enough to prepare and study for uni exams.

there's really zero help unless u go search for ur own materials and go ask the profs. and some are like really quite lazy and NOT HELPFUL AT ALL. i think a lot of these profs only care abt their research rather than ur results. they dont care if u die. but of coz the freedom that u receive in uni is much much much more better than the strictness in jc. but still no self discipline will make u die.

like me suffering from the consequences of not going for lectures and tutorials. when i'm ponning like free its happy days but near to exams it's really GG. siannnn.

which brings me back to studying hard for finals! hope i can do ok.

super random lengthy post but felt that i just have to rant abt this! too sian from studying sia. haha. and also sort of miss the sch uniform days! can dont think abt what to wear. just wear the same thing everyday. now i have to go to sleep thinking of what outfit to wear tmr. and i cannot repeat the same outfit the same day of the week. like what i wear for this mon i cannot wear for next mon coz the tutorials is every week and will be the same ppl! so cannot let them see that every mon i always wear the same clothes right! hahahaha

and also kinda miss the fun days in sec sch and jc! just hanging out in sch with ur friends and talking shit to them in sch everyday! because of fixed classes and all that it's easier to make close friends due to the close approximity everyday! in uni it's so much harder to make friends! u dont even talk to ppl in ur tutorial class coz it's only an hour a week and there's no reason to talk. in seminars it's worst. i dont even know who's in my sem. and lectures all the more dont need to say! so it's so hard to find friends and make good friends in uni! :( which is kinda sad coz uni is like the really fun and highlight of ur life. the last lap of education!

that's why i'm really grateful for the close grp of friends that i made in econs! :D really enjoy their company talking abt everything! and i'm glad we always choose our mods tgt and die tgt for the mods. HAHAHAH. really love them very much!

and i'm also happy that i actually stayed hall. coz most of my uni close friends r from hall. staying tgt has brought us so much closer. and also help me know more ppl from other courses! super love my roomiessss too! i'm glad we really can click and that they r such awesome ppl :D

that's why i'm really happy for my uni years coz of this 2 grps. i dont need to know a lot of ppl and have 100000 friends in sch. i just need these ppl to make my sch life complete! although we always just stay in our own world and we r not like damn popz or what i'm really happy!

maybe the only thing i regret is not joining a cca in yr 1! but then hmm hall is like cca right? HAHAHAH. ok maybe not. shld have put myself more involved in sch activities! oh well. shall be contented with what i have.

anywayy it's time for me to go back to study aft such a long ass post. dont think anyone will bother to finish reading the one whole chunk of words that i typed! hahaha. but nvm. for future me to see :) when i will be really grateful for my uni experience.

OK BACK TO STUDYING LOIS LIM!

stuff that helped me lighten the exam stress these past few weeks. even though some are really quite long ago :D

meeting for lunch with xunqi teng grace jinger!

mini bday celebration for roomie!

kbox session with cousin!

movie with sis!

meeting for dinner with zhang cai!

supper with jonny yihui kianhong minghowe!

random shopping sprees online/at neighbourhood malls!

talking abt random stuff with roomies + classmates!

really treasure these little things that help me cope with the oncoming exams! i might not be super hardworking but at least i wont stress myself out. hahaha.

talking shit everyday with classmates and hall ppl can take my mind off taxing sch work! and catching up with friends helped like 100000 toooo.

plus shopping is really the best therapy ok. these few weeks bought super a lot of things even though i'm like broke. because it makes me happy in these stressful timesss!! i dont care. HAHA.

cant wait for exams to end! :D

I got a hangover (wo-oh-oh!)
I been drinking too much for sure
I got a hangover (wo-oh-oh!)
I got an empty cup
Pour me some more
So I can go until I blow up hey
And I can drink until I throw up
And I don't ever ever want to grow up
I want to keep it going
Keep keep it going come on

after exams!!